THEY SEE HIM HERE THEY SEE HIM THERE : An in depth and broad ranging fabricated study on UK attitudes has revealed no one actually know who is the British Prime Minister.
While most erroneously believe Boris Johnson fulfils the role, the evidence is mounting that he does not. Not only because of the disastrous mismanagement of the Brexit process and the world beating pandemic death toll.
“Mr Johnson spends every day dressed up as a different fictional character,” the lead researcher told LCD Views, “butcher, baker, candlestick maker, he covers them all, but he’s never dressed as a prime minister. It’s clear he has no interest in that function, merely holds the title for someone else. And even when he appears in the uniform of a politician, it is evident from his hair that he has spent numerous hours in make-up beforehand. It’s just more role playing.”
The researchers did suggest though that it’s clear someone is directing operations, but it must be someone who is not exactly well disposed to the country.
“Rupert Murdoch is a likely candidate, he is unofficially the UK’s longest serving PM after all. Looking at the state of the country, perhaps Vladimir Putin?”
But when the public was asked most decided it was Dominic Cummings, still directing proceedings behind the scenes.
“We don’t believe that. We all know he is a genius and a superforecaster. For the country to be in such a rotten state and a genius behind it, directing events from the shadows while Johnson screws up a day’s work in a medical laboratory? It’s just too fanciful. There are currently too few three word slogans being produced daily, for a start.”