NOTHING A SPITFIRE FLYOVER WON’T FIX : The idiot’s idiot, Education Secretary Gavin Williamson, has slammed Greenwich teachers for what he has (allegedly) called a lack of Blitz spirit.
“It’s not as if we needed more evidence that modern man is going soft,” an imaginary someone claiming to work with Williamson told LCD Views, “and let’s face it, you didn’t see teachers complaining about catching Covid-19 in the Blitz. Did you? No. They got on and teached.”
But teachers in Greenwich are complaining so much they’ve even attempted to close schools. Just because most of them are now sick.
“Look, do they want a national day of clapping or not? In recognition of their suffering and sacrifice? Do they want a badge that says care? Teachers need to have a good, hard think.”
Happily for the former fireplace salesman he has levers to pull. And luckily for the teachers that he retrained as Education Secretary in the first place.
“He is forcing them to keep schools open for a few extra days. Essentially demanding that more of them catch Covid before Christmas. That’s how much he cares about education. He is willing to sacrifice his own troops like a WW1 general faced with a machine gun nest and limited imagination.”
And Williamson is calling in the army to help.
“It will be a carrot and stick approach,” the aide says, “there will be a Spitfire flyover over Greenwich schools next week to remind teachers of what they lack in commitment. But we will also be requesting the Navy moor a nuclear sub in the Thames at Greenwich. If teachers won’t go to school we will consider using Trident to force the issue.”
The navy however is believed to be less than keen on the request.
“The way that class A idiot is handling Covid and schools he doesn’t need nukes. He’s a weapon. A weapon of mass destruction himself.”