World’s largest turnip to be centrepiece of Brexit Museum

TAKE A FIRM GRIP AND PUSH : THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING AHEAD with the long planned Museum of Brexit. LCD Views commends the government on its perseverance.

“The Museum will be open to the public at a time of escalating food prices and mass unemployment,” our Hysterical History analyst reports, “this is incredibly courageous. This is leadership. It will resonate with the self belief, confidence and oompf that made Brexit possible. And people who are worried about the cost to the public need not. It’s being paid for by US and Russian oligrachs.”

The centrepiece of the museum will be something all British people can be proud of too.

“We will come together in wonder inside the museum,” our analyst continues, “join hands in celebration of Brexit. There will be songs about donkeys and a replica of Boris Johnson defeating Junker at the Battle of Brussels. I expect more than one or two animal sacrifices at the opening, with lucky attendees getting to eat the carcasses. Or they may choose to sell the meat on the thriving black market. It will be about personal sovereignty.”

1930’s war memorabilia will also feature strongly, as is only fitting.

“This is to show the inspiration for many supporters of Brexit, and everything they’ve forgotten that the deadliest conflict in history taught us.”

But what will be the centrepiece?

“It will be the world’s largest turnip,” our analyst reports, with a wink, “and yes, it will be shaped like a thingy. A proper British thingy.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *