You can’t close your borders, that’s OUR job, say Brexiters

TAKING BACK CONTROL: It’s strange that, after four and a half years of abortive posturing, that it turns out that we could have controlled our borders anyway. With over 40 countries now shutting the UK out, Brexiters are getting very hot under the collar.

Typical of the breed is long-standing Tory MP, Ozzie Rules. “We are the ones who close borders!” he thundered, to anybody who cared to listen. “It’s our job! We have taken back control! How dare other countries think that they have sovereignty too! It’s just not cricket! I shall be writing a very stiff letter, a very stiff letter indeed, to Mr Churchill, the King, the Magna Carta, and The Daily Telegraph. This sort of thing must simply not be allowed to happen!”

There is an argument that the other countries are merely protecting themselves from the mutated strain of covid currently sweeping the UK. SARS-CoV-BREXITUS has infected every corner of the UK, and EU countries in particular are guarding against it.

This does not even begin to mollify Rules.

“Why are they calling it the Brexit Virus?” he gasped incredulously. “Brexit is the best thing since sliced bread. I will not be muzzled, I want to superspread Brexit through the whole of the EU so I can keep all my dodgy investments hidden and buy up collapsing assets to boost my portfolio!”

So it’s all about evading scrutiny and making personal gains?

“It’s to stop the woke do-gooding lefty activist EU from poking their big noses into British business,” claimed Rules haughtily. “So how dare they retaliate by closing their borders! It’s a one-way thing. The British act, and the rest of the world tugs its forelock and follows suit. That’s how it’s always been. You would think these countries haven’t heard about The British Empire yet. Why doesn’t somebody just tell them that we are in charge?”

Meanwhile the rest of the world gets on with business as normal.

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