Brexit Dad Figel Narage has responded to the UK’s impending isolation from the international community by ensuring his children will drive British cars. He has put their names down for a Morgan car each.
Narage’s children, Figel junior and Figella, were unimpressed. “I want a Ferrari when I’m older,” grumbled Figel junior, “but Dad says I’m not allowed to buy European rubbish. It’s not fair!” Figella was equally disappointed. “I fancy an Audi A5 Cabriolet,” she whined. “Dad won’t let me buy anything German though.”
Narage senior was unrepentant. “Brexit means supporting British manufacturing,” he said, proudly. “Morgans are the best cars around, classic British design and engineering. Who wouldn’t want one?” He shifted slightly to obscure the view of his Citroen people carrier outside. “As soon as Morgan start to produce family cars, I’m getting one,” he said defensively.
Morgana Morgan, from Morgan Cars, was able to confirm Narage’s interest. “Yes, he’s been ringing up several times a day to make sure the message has got through,” she informed us. “His children’s names were inscribed upon purest vellum using the quill of an eagle the day he first spoke to us. I wish he would stop ringing me up and let me get on with the job of building cars for him.”
The demand for Morgans has increased exponentially since the onset of Brexit. “The waiting list is normally about seven years,” remarks Morgan. “However, due to the massive increase in orders, customers will now have to wait 84 years for their cars. Unless, of course, they have enough, ahem, influence to jump the queue.”
Narage proudly revealed that, if he sold all his possessions, he could use the resulting influence to move forward in the queue. “I have calculated that my wait would decrease to 79 years,” he boasted. “I know that it’s a long time, and I would have no assets at all, but it’s a price worth paying to support British enterprise.”
At this point we left Narage to enjoy watching his Japanese TV on his Swedish sofa with his German wife.