LCD Views can report that a long running study into the correlation between Brexit and liberal attitudes has concluded the only thing Brexiters are liberal with is the truth.
“We’ve copped a lot of flack for using sparse public resources on this study,” Professor Dingleberry, lead researcher said, “but until we completed our study it was just a hypothesis. Now it’s a theory, in the scientific meaning of the word.”
The study, which began in early 2016 (about the time David Cameron started daydreaming while watching repeats of “Minder”, imagining what kind of shed he would like to spend his time in) concluded today after the third ‘Road to Ruin’ speech by a minister from May’s government.
(It should be noted that the writing of this report paused for over ten minutes to allow the reporter to stop laughing at the phrase ‘May’s government’)
“David Davis provided the final spec of evidence required to finish our study,” Professor Dingleberry continued, “when he said that Brexit won’t change the nature of the United Kingdom, boy, there wasn’t a dry seat in our laboratory. Everyone just pissed themselves laughing.”
It seems, although searching exhaustively, the researchers were not able to identify a single moment when a Brexit proponent, MP or voter, actually told something truthful.
“They are very liberal in a sense,” the professor goes on,
“but only in the sense that they lie their asses off constantly.
Their plans for post Brexit Britain, best as we can understand them right now in the split second after the pin has been pulled from the grenade, best equate to drowning in a torrent of lies so thick and sludgy only the infirm or insane will stay on this island nation.”
The professor did offer some hope though for people wanting the hard right coup of our democracy to fall on its arse sometime this year.
“They aren’t even correct in saying the United Kingdom is leaving the European Union,” he adds, “it’s highly probable that over the coming months, as more and more people understand the road to Brexit is a road to ruin, public opinion will force a rethink.”
LCD Views encourages people to take up the results of the study. Recognise that allowing parliament to tear up so many rights won by citizens over so many years of struggle, is the least liberal path open to the United Kingdom possible.