The news wires are fizzing this evening with news of a historic, if brief, encounter of the culinary kind after a trio of aliens landed on the White House lawn, but left immediately after seeing what was on the menu.
“President Donald Trump seemed very pleased to see the aliens,” our White House correspondent reports, “and even rushed outside to greet them. Anything to alleviate the boredom of being all alone at home, due to his government shut down, with only secret service personal there to guard him.”
It seems the guards aren’t talking to Mr Trump due to missing their pay cheques and the famous attention seeker is starting to feel it.
”But in spite of Mr Trump’s warm, if slightly frantic, open hand of whatever he thinks is friendship, the aliens weren’t staying for long.”
The aliens, named locally by extraterrestrial researchers, as Zaaarg, BLaaarg (silent B) and Carafe (it means something else where they come from) had expected to dine with the individual research said was leader of Earth, but they weren’t expecting to eat what greeted them on arrival.
”Imagine travelling millions of light years to reach Earth, anticipating a momentous meal as two alien cultures get to know each other, only to arrive and find there’s just trash on the menu? No wonder they turned right around and went back home.”
But it wasn’t a White House stuffed full of cold Big Macs that put Zaaarg, BLaaarg (silent B) and Carafe (it means something else where they come from) off staying to dine.
”It was Donald Trump,” our correspondent informs us, “the aliens customary way of making contact with a new world is to eat the brain of the most powerful chief, but there was no way they were (in Blaaarg’s words) dining on junk food like that.”
And besides, it’s not like there would have been enough to go around anyway.