TWIDDLING THUMBS : Fantastic news for anyone concerned about the ongoing governance of the United Kingdom today. Firstly, there really isn’t any, but secondly that’s because everything is now fine.
To celebrate the people who used to do stuff in the Palace of Westminster have decided to replace the lower house of parliament with a popular social media GIF.
“Bercow will still be in his chair though,” our parliamentary correspondent reports, “because he’s a smash hit. He’s the top rated programme on the BBC’s parliament channel. Mostly because he seemed to be about the only person capable of getting anything done in the house, before they realised everything was now fine.”
And there’s no need to worry about MPs suddenly getting deluged with constituency work, because everything is now fine.
“It only took nine years to turn the UK into a total basket case,” a Tory source told us, “but we’ve done it. We’ve earned our rest. We’re going to concentrate on our leadership contest now. We need a renewed vision for the future. Someone to oversee the inevitable breakdown of the actual union of the United Kingdom, now that everything is fine.”
But not everyone is happy that everything is fine.
“There’s always a few killjoys,” the Tory source shrugs, “sticks in the mud. Glass half empty types. I wouldn’t pay them any heed.”
Anyone else who may have a furrowed brow at the news parliament is now just a GIF which repeats itself constantly should consider, if this is what just deciding to do Brexit has done to parliament, before it’s even happened, imagine what it’s going to be like if the crazed bastards ever actually begin the diabolical, far right project?
To celebrate we’ve added a link below to a page just full of reassuring GIFs communicating the message that this is fine.