WORD SALADS ALL DAY : Boris Johnson’s campaign launch today has led to many questions, not least about his tiny hands.
“I know he’s nicknamed the Poundstore Trump,” a keen Boris critic observed, “but I didn’t realise until I sat in that braying audience of posh kippers today just how tiny his hands are.”
And tiny little digits waving about wasn’t the only similarity.
”He managed to turn the excellent and pointed questions from Beth Rigby, regarding his love of racist tropes, into a laugh festival for the well heeled, guffawing, rich racists who admire him too. Good bit of Trumpism there.”
But what about policy?
”There wasn’t much. Some balderdash about renegotiating the EU withdrawal deal with Brussels, based solely on the fact he’s an over-self-appreciating clod. He may just as well have said he’s going to build a wall in the English Channel and Brussels is gonna pay for it.”
Don’t say that too loud. You’ll give him ideas.
At least the journalists got to grill the hot favourite to replace Theresa May.
”All six questions before he buggered off? More Trump. Neither like being asked to justify their nonsense.”
So what didn’t he say?
”He said he’ll be ready to exit the EU on October 31st, with No Deal if need be. More cobblers.”
Yes, but what didn’t he say?
”Oh you mean about running down the Brexit clock till October and then calling a snap general election, after making an electoral pact with Nigel Farage, in the hope the brown shirts will stand down and he can sweep the board by hoovering back up the idiotic, nostalgic xenophobe vote?”
That’s it.
”No, he didn’t mention that at all.”