“You’re stuck with me” – May to tell Queen she can’t have any confidence in Tory leadership contest winner to form government

PUSH ME PULL YOU : “Honestly, it’s clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right” Theresa May is expected to tell the Queen, when she goes to see her in late July, at the conclusion of the Tory leadership contest.

“Whoever wins, it’s plain as day they’re a dangerous idiot,” Ms May is said to have briefed her aides in 10 Downing Street this morning, “and I’m a dangerous idiot. But better the dangerous idiot you know. You should all prepare to stay on as my prime ministerial aides through the summer and into the autumn. There’s not a snowflake’s chance in hell that I’ll tell the Queen to ask either Boris Johnson or Jeremy Hunt to form a government.”

The move by Theresa May to cling onto power is not a surprising one, after Jeremy Hunt informed the nation’s workers he’d quite happily jam their jobs into a shredder if it gets him elected Tory leader. And Boris Johnson revealed he is essentially high all the time on glue.

It’s believed that Ms May won’t wait until late July either to land the bombshell, she’ll foreshadow it this week.

During her regular meeting with the Queen she is expected to say quietly, “Just between you and me, you know you can’t have any confidence in the Tory leadership contest winner. Whoever it is.”

What constitutional law experts will make of it is anyone’s guess, although technicality May maybe on solid ground, until it turns to quicksand, as it always does.

It’s guaranteed to make the Brexit headbangers have brain explosions. May has done her job as their patsy, but she’s revealed she’s not quite insane enough to finish the project, so they’re looking for someone who is.

It seems the Tory party plan to stitch up parliament by concluding their leadership contest on the day parliament breaks up for six weeks, thus putting off a vote of confidence, May leave them screaming blue murder through the summer when Theresa May smiles maniacally and tells them,  “Contest winner means contest winner, but for the next six weeks prime minister still means me.”

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