Television and crime lovers are in for a treat as BBC flagship programme ‘Crimewatch’ is to film a special feature on all the horrible shit the House of Commons has been allowing to happen for years and now the perpetrators are in the spotlight.
“Boris clearly is a wanted man in connection with mass vandalism of cultural life in the U.K.,” presenter Nick Ross, who is returning to film the special, told LCD Views, “also for various criminal violations relating to bus driving. But most of the Commons is charged with pursuing the criminal destruction of the country with Brexit.”
But he’s not alone on the lamb?
”No. Pretty much the entire cabinet is featured as suspects wanted in connection with democratic vandalism and other charges.
A lot of them for just being themselves.
Gavin Williamson for the crime of being promoted beyond his abilities.
Jeremy Hunt for alleged money laundering, on top of slowly and steadily privatisating a national treasure. So mass theft of a public possession.
Michael Gove for theft of a human shell in which to carry out his harmful alien schemes.
Amber Rudd for everything the Home Office is doing. Crime growth. Mass fear, breaking of trust regarding how to treat humans. The list is pretty long. Immigration policy is pretty much a protection racket now.”
We understand Jeremy Corbyn is featured too?
”Yes. Violations of the trade description act as it applies to an official opposition leader. That’s a serious one. He’s supporting Brexit, the criminal reduction of the U.K. for asset stripping. I mean, what the actual…”
But surely Iain Duncan Smith has to feature as public enemy number one?
”He does.”
What crime is he alleged to have committed?
”The crime of being himself,” Nick said, “oh and for impersonating a wheel of cheese. The recreation of that crime is my personal favourite.”