Germany to repossess Royal Family after Brexit

The consequences of an ever-impending Brexit are still being discovered at a shocking rate, but the latest revelation is perhaps the most controversial yet – the royal family are to be repossessed by Germany.

The Queen and her relatives are historically German, and have been ever since the house of Hanover ascended to the British throne in 1714. But now they are facing extradition to their fatherland, in a move that has divided the country like nothing before – well, apart from Brexit of course.

In a prepared statement released to the media this morning, German chancellor Angela Merkel explained:

“The British Royal Family are a historically German institution and will therefore be reclaimed by their fatherland. We shall not be requiring them to actually rule the country, so we shall simply retain them as attractions for the tourist trade.”

The loss to the British tourist trade has been calculated at £350 million a week.

Of all the consequences of Brexit, though, this is the most divisive. Staunch leave voter Roy Allist commented:

“It’s disgraceful, they’re our royal family, not Germany’s, they have no right to just take them, we voted to get our sovereignty back, and now they’re taking that away from us! I think we should declare war over this!”

Meanwhile remain advocate Ree Publey-Cann said:

“At last, one useful thing is coming from Brexit – the royal family undermine the very concept of democracy. We’ll finally be rid of them!”

Most interestingly, the division of opinion does not have any specific correlation with the Brexit vote. There are people on both sides wanting to keep the royals, and also people from either camp happy to lose them.

Theresa May has been unavailable for comment on the matter, although she was reported as rubbing her hands in anticipation at the thought of being in power without a monarch to answer to. What actions she might or, more likely, might not take to prevent this are a matter for speculation at this point.

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