Boris Johnson already bored of being prime minister

A DAMN FINE FILLY, THOUGHT I WAS IN THERE : Prime minister of the United Kingston, Boris Johnson, has reportedly told his aides in a bad tempered outburst that he’s already bored of being prime minister.

”It got better for a moment when he got to ride in a helicopter to somewhere with an unexpected water folly,” an aide to the restless PM told LCD Views, “but then they wouldn’t let him try and stick his finger in the dyke and the fun died again.”

How Mr Johnson will entertain himself now is anyone’s guess, especially since some people have started booing.

”He’s supposed to be adored,” the aide insighted, “that’s what he thrives on. He’s played the UK like a doe eyed Tory lass. All bluff and gags, with a few half understood classical references thrown in to dazzle. Now he’s got Britannia in the sack and had his way with her he’s looking for the next conquest. Which is difficult when you’re prime minister. You’re expected to stay faithful. You’re expected to stop screwing around.”

One of the main causes of irritation appears to be having to work. Daily.

”The wheeze was to conclude the Tory leadership contest with six weeks of summer hols to look forward to. Apparently you can’t just bunk off when you’re PM and threatening the country with economic suicide and civil unrest. Who knew?”

“Winning was supposed to be an end in itself,” Mr Johnson was heard to mutter, “not the start of some bloody endless chore. Who can we invade? Can we invade ourselves?”

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