OMG DON’T TELL THEM : President Macron was tight lipped tonight on the subject of Brexit after the other EU states took out a gagging order in the ECJ.
“It’s very specific,” Finland, currently acting on behalf of the UK (and Finland) at the EU council, told LCD Views, “we just need him to stop telling the UK they don’t have to Brexit.”
The legal move to zip the lips of the outspoken French leader will surprise many in the English exceptionalism press, but few on the other side of the Channel.
“We’re so close to not having to put up with cretins from Westminster jumping on a plane or train and turning up to show us their hairy balls,” the Finnish spokesman said, “I mean, after three years and more of this nonsense? Just get out already and take your economic collapse and become a parasitic, feudal, service economy feeding off the burgeoning financial centres on the continent. You want irrelevance globally? It’s yours, take it, and take your Daily Telegraph with you.”
The action has caused a ripple of orgasm amongst Brexit politicians at home. They have completely misinterpreted the legal move by the other EU states to mean the EU doesn’t want Macron to attempt to convince the UK to withdraw Article 50.
“Not when we’re so close to seeing Merkel collapse before the German automakers and Putin in Italy give in to the pressure from Italian pizza-ferry firms to ditch the Irish backdrop and just agree to whatever Downing Street wants.”
Many saw the power of attorney used to hand Finland control of UK decisions in the EU as a burden for the country. An enlargement of Very Finnish Problems, to now include Brexit, but it seems they all have the matter completely in hand.
Quite what Boris Johnson has in hand is anyone’s guess.