Boris Johnson says he’ll still be invited to the G7 when he’s just the prime minister of England

KING OF LITTLE ENGLAND : Boris Johnson has responded to doubts about the future status of himself, and the United Kingdom, tonight by reaffirming his belief in Boris Johnson.

“Let me be absolutely clear. Let not the gloomsayers and the naymongers and the poopstickers spread the furtive flurries of doom about the future,” the poundstore tribute act to Trump said, “regardless of the shape or shadow or warp or weft of the United Kingdom, the future of Boris Johnson is not for a moment touch and go.”

The belief Mr Johnson espouses in Mr Johnson will come as little surprise to even irregular watchers of Mr Johnson.

“The only thing that matters is how important I feel in any given moment,” Mr Johnson added, “take not your medication after No Deal Brexit because you couldn’t agree to the cost with a blackmarketeer, that is your individual choice, your freedom. Feed not your children because you haven’t the get up and go to rush an army barricade in the street to raid a ration truck. That is your choice as a liberated Briton.”

The tangible opportunities of Brexit.

“You need have no fears or anxieties or sleepless nights over the status of your head of state. I am here to stay. With, or without, representative democracy.”

With or without a United Kingdom?

“And I tell you today, your prime minister will still be at the meetings of the G7. And card and life of the party that I am, it’ll be the prime ministers of Scotland and Wales that are on the extremities of the group photographs. Not the prime minister of Little England! I’ll be centre stage in Donald Trump’s pocket. Breast or trousers, or right between the buttocks head first.”

Make (smirk) England (ruffle hair) Great (grate) Again (as a parasitic service economy for tax dodgers adrift in the North Sea).

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