Who’s a bad boy – Boris Johnson plans to kidnap Queen’s corgi and hold it to ransom to prevent Brexit extension!

HOW FAR WILL YOU GO TO DELIVER BREXIT : OMFG every day it’s a new level of insanity from the executive and today is no different.

According to sources located close to the failing, drying out husk of a heart of the current government, Boris and his best mate Dom, have a new wheeze to prevent an extension to Article 50.

Reportedly, the latest scheme revolves around the Queen’s love of corgis and how to game that into delivering Brexit, do or die.

“It was probably Dom’s idea, but Boris will take the credit, before it goes wrong and he attempts to spin the blame onto someone else. Probably Merkel or Varadkar based on recent events.”

It’s believed the thinking behind the scheme was inspired by a Jeeves and Wooster episode involving a stolen cow creamer. Although it’s not clear all the details of that adventure have been remembered correctly.

“Basically if the undemocratic parliament forces Boris to ask the tyrannical EU for an extension to Article 50, just to prevent dogging riots, then Boris and Dom will be ready. They’ll have one of the Queen’s corgis and they’ll have a gun to its head. If anything happens to the dog it’ll be Germany’s fault. Or the Queen’s. Yeah. Yeah. Her fault. They may even steal two of the dogs just to have one spare in case she tries to sack him.”

But while the plan is clearly as well thought through. Well, as well as anything emanating from 10 Downing Street since the British people overwhelmingly voted to be skinned alive via a dodgy opinion poll years ago, critics have rounded on it. They say it can’t possibly work. They just don’t believe enough.

“Don’t those idiots know the Queen doesn’t have any corgis anymore? This idea is not so much a dead cat on a table, as a sorry tale of already dead dogs. The people inside 10 Downing Street are idiots.”

And that’s something we can all get behind and agree with.

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