A good deal had been made out of a bad deal. Boris’ deal, a minor variation in Theresa May’s deal, is on the table, but the reality is that Johnson has neither the numbers nor the belief to get it done. Consequently, leading brexiters have been queueing up to tell reality to stop moaning and throw its weight behind Boris.
“Reality gets in the way of this deal, so it must instead get out of the way,” wittered little Dominic Raab on Today. “This moaning, this treacherous reliance on facts and predictions must stop so Brexit can proceed smoothly.”
“You’re so clever, you explain things so well,” purred the BBC presenter. “So, if we ignore reality, what happens next?”
You could almost hear Raab smile. He knew he could now say absolutely anything and get away with it.
In another part of the wood, Michael Gove was polishing his disingenuousness. “This deal protects rights and standards!” he dribbled. “It’s there, if you look hard enough!”
So we looked. It was there, all right, crossed out in red ink and initialed by Johnson. The reality is the exact opposite of what Gove says, as usual.
“Reality needs to stop interfering with what we want to do!” spluttered Gove. “It’s about time reality realised that it lost. It needs to stop complaining, get over it and suck it up. Now excuse me, I need to feed my unicorn.”
Boris’ deal has been created in the image of its maker. It is incoherent, rambling and unreliable. It promises much and delivers sod all. It serves one purpose, and one purpose only: to make Boris Johnson look good. Reality is threatening to prevent that, too.
It is also almost a carbon copy of Theresa May’s deal, and reality is being told to shut up about that as well.
Reality told to stop moaning and get behind Boris. And shaft him royally in the process.