IGNOBLED BY DESIGN : Nigel Farage is celebrating the renewal of his contract as (unofficial) Director for News and Current Affairs at the BBC with the announcement that he is to increase his influence and become the Director General of the whole kit and kaboddle.
Speaking to a forced press conference earlier today Mr Farage spoke of his pleasure at his new appointment.
“Now. Now. Let me speak (no one was interrupting him). Some would say this is just maintaining the status quo,” Mr Farage said, “but I would say it’s a reward for hard work in the service of shadowy backers and tub thumping, nation destroying nationalism, paid for by the nation. Quite the lark. Bartender, another bite of bitter! Charge it to the EP!”
The elevation of Mr Farage to Director General is believed to be part of an electoral pact with outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson. This will give Mr Johnson a clear run at the credulous vote, at least on the right wing of British politics.
And it’s even better for Mr Farage.
“I must say I was additionally touched when I told old Bojo and Short Cummings that becoming Director General of an organisation I already control by default was not enough. If they wanted me to stand down the attack dogs of my limited company in the upcoming GE I needed to be ignobled also.”
And ignobled Mr Farage is set to be.
He is to become Lord Haw-Haw of Faschism before taking up his expanded duties.
There are of course critics of the move. Some hoped with the retirement of Daily Mail audiobook, John Humphrys, that the BBC may become more impartial again. But those critics won’t stand a chance of appearing in the BBCQT audience, so we can pretend they don’t exist.
“Some would say my ignobling as Lord Haw-Haw is also just maintaining the status quo,” Mr Farage added. “And it would be hard to disagree with that. Bartender! Drinks for the house. They’re on the BBC!”