NO LAUGHING MATTER : The UK’s outgoing prime minister, Boris ‘if it moves I’ll shag it’ Johnson, has provided clarity today over his refusal to be grilled, basted, roasted, boiled alive and generally severely singed by his fellow Barclay Brother’s employee Andrew Neil.
“The great people of this great nation are bored of political interviews,” Mr Johnson revealed, having decided the matter for himself, “they’d much prefer some good old fashioned, straight talking fascism.”
And it seems so far as this matter goes Mr Johnson has the courage of his convictions, not always something that has been said about him.
All you have to do is look deeply into the (mostly) slogan-scat smeared pages of his party’s election manifesto to find proof.
“Page 48,” he went on, “you’ll find it in there. Total wipeout of parliamentary sovereignty, and just like Brexit, we expect the people to vote for it. Ha!”
And there’s more to it. Not only is there a smash and grab for executive power, there’s news of how Mr Johnson will convey his message to the grated British people, if the people, and then parliament, are confused and cowed enough to allow it.
“Following in the footsteps of the great orators of the past,” Mr Johnson added, “Mussolini, Sadam, Eddie H and so on, I will talk directly to the people I govern. In this way, as the boot of fascism presses down on their chests, they will understand why.”
And he will do this via the good old fashioned, British invention of television.
“24/7 streaming of my thoughts, via your British made LCD flatscreen, into every living, and dead room in the land. And if you don’t watch, we’ll know.”
Let’s Get Brexit Done and watch Boris Johnson’s ratings soar.
It is still a choice, for now, and you don’t have to vote for it…I know I won’t.