People who say “We didn’t fight two world wars just so” told they’re right

GAMMONOPOLIS : We’ve all heard those patriotic types in vox pops, and on the television, asserting “We didn’t fight two world wars just so”, well now the Institute for Studying Other People’s Efforts has announced the conclusion of a study into the veracity of the claims.

“We looked really hard,” Professor Theeyve Amneesia told LCD Views, “and we decided that redness of face and the ability to both raise and point an index finger are key indicators of someone’s likelihood to assert the statement under focus.”

Birth dates were also looked at, but not as an exclusive indicator.

“You do get younger gammon too, gammonettes, similar to tadpoles, with the exception they won’t turn into something more impressive, they’ll just get bigger and bigger heads as they age. Oh, and change colour to red. Deep. Deep red.”

All well and good, but what of the claim?

“Well they’re right,” the Professor shrugs, “almost exclusively the people saying ‘We didn’t fight two world wars, just so we could agree mutually beneficial trading standards as part of a supranational organisation’ are correct.”

But how? It seems a very dubious claim.

“Well they didn’t fight in two world wars. Hardly anyone alive did. And of those that did none have yet revealed themselves as gammon. And you can be bloody sure the right wing press has been looking hard to find one.”

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