Michael Gove judicial review to advise replacing Supreme Court with a “gold ring based justice system”

PEOPLE KNEW WHAT THEY WERE VOTING FOR : Sauron’s minor functionary, Michael Gove, has been tasked with a duty additional to torturing hobbits for fun, he now has to oversee the complete subjugation of the British judiciary to self-interested, poor hating autocracy.

What he will recommend is not hard to forecast. All you have to do is look at the Tory Party’s record in government.

“It’s definitely going to be a ring based justice system,” an aide to the Govester told LCD Views, “although I think we can safely assume he will not advise a ring he made for the kings of all the different races. Rather, to spare unnecessary expense, just one ring.”

The ring itself will be made of gold.

“9ct. This will give it the strength required. It’s going to be under quite a lot of pressure. It’ll have to work the magic of taking a slowly liberalising, generally functional, modern representative democracy and turn it into a far right, triumphalist, fascist cash cow for whoever funds all those dodgy ‘think tanks’ nested like vipers at 55 Tufton Street.”

Great! And we hear there will be an inscription on ring?

“Yes. It’s a well known verse. It goes :

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.”

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