AS I LIVE AND BREATHE : Good news today for worry worts who think the leadership from 10 Downing Street is lacking in the face of the tidy new flu that’s travelling the globe.
“Dom has settled on a slogan and it’s a classic,” a source inside Downing Street, handpicked because they’re a freak, told LCD Views, “we’ve even focus grouped it with a bunch of weird AF early twenty something Tory voters. They don’t get the cultural reference, but they’re giddy at the thought of carts rumbling through the former red wall towns.”
The choosing of a slogan for facing up to the challenge of the Covid-19 strain has been the predominant focus for the geniuses currently running Britain (Into the ground? Off a cliff? Who knows!).
“Brexit was solved by a couple of catchy words. In fact any public policy matter can be boiled down to a slogan. Then you just stop and let events unfold. This is not about disaster management.”
But some critics have suggested that “Bring Out Your Dead!” is a little too morbid for what will be a fairly low key public health crisis.
“We did think about going with ‘Dig for Britain!’ next to a team excavating a very large pit, but we are saving that one for next year’s food shortages, after Boris successfully fails to get a deal with the EU. It’s my personal favourite.”
No one should be in any doubt that photos of unstaffed arrival halls and immigration counters, greeting Brits returning from Coronavirus hotspots in Italy is in anyway an accident.
“We’re on top of all the details,” the source added, “the slogan only has four syllables. It’s genius. Our seeming in action is not eugenics inaction, although that would also make a great slogan!”